How many times have I made this excuse?
It’s not that I DON’T want to do anything with friends or co-workers, but it’s just when things are done at last-minute or on the fly, I get extremely uncomfortable. I’m a person of routine. I like to do things planned accordingly. I usually eat the same thing for breakfast, go to the same place for lunch. It’s usually tough for me to drastically change the balance of my day. For my health, this is fantastic (I get used to eating the same healthy foods, going to the gym every other day at the same time, going to sleep at the same time each night, etc), but for my social life, it’s not so great. But then again, I’m totally happy just doing my own thing. On a normal day, I’d go to the gym in the morning, go to work, meet my boyfriend after work & relax for the rest of the evening (relaxing, meaning: eating dinner, surfing the web, and catching up on some television shows online). Sometimes, I get afraid that I’ll be offending my friends if I decline an invite. Once before, I knew a group of colleagues who were always going out for drinks, having parties with each other; and for a while, I was invited to their events. However, their style of socializing did not really agree with mine (they were all realllyy loud, risk-takers, etc), and it made me feel uncomfortable whenever I was with the large group. As time went on, I would decline their invites practically all the time because I never had fun at their events, but I really wished I would (it always looked like they had such a fun time and it made me upset that I could just never get into it). One-on-one with the people in the group, I was totally cool with them. But as a large group, I could never handle it. Unfortunately, it made me believe that they thought that I was some kind of ‘party pooper’ and eventually just don’t want to be around me anymore. I kept trying to convince myself that I was the one who was rejecting them, but in my mind, because our extrovert & introvert party styles collided, it caused me to believe that they were the ones rejecting me.
It’s been like that many times before: I am afraid of people NOT liking me, that I just reject them before they even get to know me. I’m sure it’s a problem with a lot of people, but whenever it’s a matter of ‘I’m unsure of what this person thinks of me because they’re so cool, or higher-up on the corporate ladder,’ I tend to shut myself off. I am unsure why I naturally do this, because I don’t necessarily think of myself in a poor light. I think it’s actually because I know that if a person like that would like me, then it would throw off my entire lifestyle balance, if that makes any sense. If I made friendly acquaintances with someone who goes out a lot, is highly advanced in their career, etc, then I would feel like I would have to keep up with them, or go to all of the events that they invite me to, and feel like I would be pressured to keep in constant communication with them. If I don’t, then I know I would be setting myself up for rejection because I can’t keep up with the extroverted ways. I’m trying to get out of this state of mind, but it’s difficult. I think I’m a bit too modest sometimes…
Anyways, I know there’s nothing wrong with a routine, but how do you guys deal with other extroverts or last-minute invites? I’m interested to read how other introverts deal with this stuff!